Ditched by a Golden Girl

       

So, I started coaching Cross Country for fourth grade girls at an Upper East Side school.  The girls are beautiful, charming, and exuberant - so much so that after that first day I lay exhausted on my couch.  I asked them what they wanted their team to be called and it was unanimous – Golden Girls.  With a chuckle I declared, so be it.  They seem unaware of the hilarity.

Yesterday, on the way to the field, one of the girls Emily (not her real name) had me laughing as she explained why she calls her new Uncle  - Turkey Butt. It was a different experience on the way back.  Emily’s best friend told her she was ditching her.  Emily cried and cried.  The other girls told me that they too had been ditched.  One girl four times, another three times.  And so on.  I was shocked, when had this become a thing?  

Yes, I had seen Mean Girls, but even in that cautionary tale, it wasn’t repetitive ditching.  This is apparently a right of passage for these very young girls.  Suddenly I remembered an incident from high school that still has me unnerved – and IT DIDN’T EVEN HAPPEN TO ME.  I WAS JUST AN OBSERVER!

Elyse and Lynn were best friends for a very long time. Although I was accepted into the triangle, I wasn’t awarded equal footing.  However, they were fun and creative and I felt more at home with them than most others in the school.  From the age of 13-16 we attended theatre school together.  Lynn and I would choreograph every bit of music we could find for hours and hours after school and Elyse and I would rehearse scripts.
   

Our junior year, Elyse and I were cast in the musical.  The very popular seniors were also cast.  And we all became friends.  For some reason they didn’t like Lynn.  They made derogatory remarks, laughed about her and so on.  Elyse ditched Lynn.  I don’t even know how it happened. 

I remained friends with Lynn and Elyse and the popular seniors.  I guess I had a different status then Elyse in High School.  I was friendly with a lot more people. And it didn't hurt that I stopped the show with a dance number in the musical.

Lynn was bereft.  I didn’t know what to say or why Elyse did it. In retrospect, I realize Elyse was a bitch.  Not in the get things done way, but in the insecure way.  She put people down to make herself feel better. I was the recipient of many of those putdowns. Perhaps Lynn was better off. 

On the way home from the track last night I told Emily she was brilliant and wonderful and tomorrow she will feel better.  I know kids grow up faster, I hadn't realized that all the crazy high school junk is now in elementary school.  When did people become disposable? 

I told the girls that it’s always better to be nice.  That nice always wins out. I hope they hear me.  It will save them many tears, for karma always wins.