So, the other day I got on a bus with my NYC instincts on full alert as they always are when the MTA is involved. My radar read - angry crazy woman in the front and crazy but not so angry in the back. I sat in the back. A few minutes later the woman near me started to meow. Not sweet little mewing but a full on howling. I'm thinking I made a wrong decision so I more towards the front. She continues her loud wails and then her phone rings. She has a reasonable, rational conversation. Maybe job related, there are stats stated, decisions discussed and logical pronouncements. Then she hangs up. And low and behold, the meowing commences again. Fortunately I was not too far from my stop. Oh the fun bus drivers must experience every day.
So, when I got to my destination I told my friend about my bus ride. He told me about the time he was on the subway and an elderly gentleman was singing Jesse's Girl.
The elderly gentleman knew the melody, but didn't know the real words and sang some gibberish. However he did know one line of the song, which he sang out loud and clear each time it came around and that was - "How can I find a woman like that?" Let's give this man some credit, at least he knows what he wants.
There was a young man who lived in a small town. His fiancé had just broken up with him. He was very much in love with her and was bereft. He couldn’t even fathom life without her. There was only solution in his mind. He would take his own life.
There was a river that flowed through the town and a bridge over this river. He couldn’t swim and decided if he jumped off the bridge it would be a fast, easy death. He came to the highest point smack in the center of the bridge. He stayed for a few moments, mustering up all his misery to do the deed. He climbed to the top of the ledge. Took a breath and jumped.
As he was on his way down he came to his senses and screamed, “This is a mistaaaaaakkkkkke!”
Fortunately, this whole scene was observed by a witness, who jumped in and saved the man. I’m not sure if the man ever got back together with his ex fiance. But I can guarantee that this man has a renewed appreciation for life.
***
A friend was sitting on a jury. It was deep in summer and there was no air conditioner. There was a ceiling fan that rattled on, the defense attorney rattled on and the court stenographer clicked away. Deep in the middle of a long droning by the defense attorney the entire court simultaneously realized that it seemed a little quiet. The court stenographer had stopped. The judge turned to her and asked what was going on. The stenographer pushed away her chair, took her glasses off her nose and in a deep Bronx accent said, “I’m tired.” The judge called for a recess until the next day with an admonition for the stenographer to rest up.
