Saturday, December 3, 2016

I’ve heard tell




There was a young man who lived in a small town.  His fiancé had just broken up with him.  He was very much in love with her and was bereft.  He couldn’t even fathom life without her.  There was only solution in his mind.  He would take his own life.  

There was a river that flowed through the town and a bridge over this river.  He couldn’t swim and decided if he  jumped off the bridge it would be a fast, easy death.  He came to the highest point smack in the center of the bridge.  He stayed for a few moments, mustering up all his misery to do the deed. He climbed to the top of the ledge.  Took a breath and jumped.  

As he was on his way down he came to his senses and screamed, “This is a mistaaaaaakkkkkke!”

Fortunately, this whole scene was observed by a witness, who jumped in and saved the man.   I’m not sure if the man ever got back together with his ex fiance.  But I can guarantee that this man has a renewed appreciation for life.

***
A friend was sitting on a jury.  It was deep in summer and there was no air conditioner.  There was a ceiling fan that rattled on, the defense attorney rattled on and the court stenographer clicked away.  Deep in the middle of a long droning by the defense attorney the entire court simultaneously realized that it seemed a little quiet.  The court stenographer had stopped. The judge turned to her and asked what was going on.  The stenographer pushed away her chair, took her glasses off her nose and in a deep Bronx accent said, “I’m tired.”  The judge called for a recess until the next day with an admonition for the stenographer to rest up.

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