Wear It Now

So, I’ve had a harrowing time.  Many of you know about what has been happening to me, which started several months ago. It came on suddenly and when I came to consciousness, I found myself in a hospital for months.  My life has been changed forever. I'm still dealing with the ramifications and will do so for a very long time. I need some distance in time and certainly emotional and mental space before I am capable of writing about it.  But I do want to discuss something that occurred recently as a result.

I was invited to a wedding. The groom, a friend for a long time, came to visit me in the hospital and said, "I want you to be strong enough to come to my wedding."  It gave me a goal. It was months away and I knew that I had to go to it.  I made arrangements so that I wouldn't be at the wedding for too long and be exhausted from it.  The wedding was lovely. After all the months of being ill, it was a big event for me and I was tired for days afterward.  It was worth it, though.

I’m currently not able to wear many of the clothes I normally would wear, such as a long dress or any dress for that matter. I needed to wear something that doesn’t hinder mobility in any way.  I also had to wear sneakers.  Because of what happened, my feet have changed.  I recently searched and searched and finally found sneakers that actually fit on my feet. I now have to wear mens sneakers that are extra wide. 

With the help of a good friend, I was going through a couple of bins looking for something to wear that was nice and at the same time provide me with comfort and movability.  I discovered several silk blouses I was too precious to wear at the time I purchased them — many years ago. Well, one of the things about materials that you have to be gentle with is that they will stain or change colors even if you don’t wear them!  This was a shock for me.  I also saw many items that still had the price tag on it!

It led me to think about all of the gorgeous pairs of shoes I own — that I never wore. These were expensive well made shoes. I was too careful with them, or it just wasn’t the right time, or I wanted to save them.  If I wore them and something happened to them, what then?  And now, I don’t know if I will be able to ever wear them.  Very possibly not. 

In the movie In Her Own Shoes a serious attorney, played by Toni Collette, has many pairs of gorgeous shoes that she never wears.  Her beautiful partying sister, played by Cameron Diaz, takes the shoes without asking and wears them and chides her sister for not wearing them herself.  I related to this movie then and especially now.

Why do we do this?  On the surface I would say because I was saving both the clothes and the shoes for.…  something?  A special occasion?  Insecurity? Not sure.  

So, wear your good clothes and shoes now.  Don’t save them. Allow yourself to experience the best of life.  Appreciate what you have at this moment.  Life throws curve balls.  If you own them, wear them now.